“Your lips, O my spouse, drip as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue; and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.” – Song of Solomon 4:11
Are you aware that the words you speak carry a weight that impacts the world around you?
What you say and how you say it ripples throughout your personal sphere of influence.
Your words can serve to build up and encourage.
And then in an instant turn against someone to tear them down.
James 3:9 says of our tongue, “Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.”
Being conscious of the words we use is really a matter of maturity and sensitivity.
It takes maturity in the sense that we have a responsibility to choose our words wisely when we speak to others.
Likewise, it takes sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit and understanding the impact our words have on the people we’re speaking to.
This reality is especially important for followers of Jesus Christ.
Do You Ever Say the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time?
The Apostle Peter had a reputation for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time…
“Then Peter answered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah”—because he did not know what to say, for they were greatly afraid. (Mark 9:5-6)
What Peter said (at the Mount of Transfiguration) was so foolish because he put Jesus on an equal level with Elijah and Moses—one tabernacle for each!
But Jesus isn’t just another Moses or Elijah, or even a greater Moses or Elijah.
Jesus is the Son of God. (David Guzik Commentary)
The words you use evoke a response.
Usually, you get back some form of joy, anger or indifference.
I remember, as a child, how my Dad would constantly speak in absolutes.
He would say things like, “It only gets ‘worser’”, “It’s the secret of life”, and “It’s vital that you know this…”
I’m sure he talked this way to get our attention and to teach us something.
Later in life, he would use words to get a reaction out of us, to test us.
My brother learned from this approach and took it to a whole nether level to tease me for sure.
But as I grew up and gained some wisdom, I learned to turn it back on him.
Words can sting, no doubt.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer”. (Psalm 19:14)
Do You Know this Key Attribute in Relationships?
Now, I’m learning the vital role of communication in relationships.
Particularly in marriage, the key to a happy home is being able to understand and empathize with your mate.
When communication breaks down, everything else starts to crumble.
Using the right words in the right moment is so helpful in maintaining peace.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11)
Hearing the hidden meaning behind certain words is beneficial as well.
You know how it is when you say, “Hi Honey, how are you” and the response comes back a curt and strained, “fine”.
Right there you know everything isn’t “fine”, quite the contrary.
And you are most likely the cause of the not-so-fineness.
Now you have to wordsmith your way through the communication maze, to discover the words and the path to forgiveness.
It takes work.
But the forgiveness and restored peace is well worth it.
Does Your Spouse Ever Do This?
When I counsel couples, I encourage them to practice active listening, especially the guys.
We guys need to make an extra effort to really hear our wives.
It is not something that comes naturally to us, especially when the game is on.
Hey guys, here’s a tip.
Make sure you choose your spouse over your favorite sports team!
When it’s the final seconds in 4th quarter, the score is tied and your team is marching down the field to win the game…expect a question out of nowhere from your Honey.
“Hey Babe, can we plan a real family vacation for next year?” or “Hey Babe, do you think we can replace these tattered curtains sometime soon?”
In the moment, you’re thinking, “What, don’t you know my team is on the brink of making history here?”
“Can’t your question wait two minutes?” (That’s 2 minutes of actual playing time which translates to about 35 minutes including commercials, network news-flashes and commentary).
Worldly wisdom can kick in during moments such as this and you can say to yourself, “Hey, both teams have 1 more timeout. I can answer her question and see the end of the game.”
But it’d be better to say, “Hey, this is my wife. I need to honor her request even in this moment and listen to what she has to say.”
Back to the verse in Song of Solomon 4:11, this is an intimate moment between King Solomon and his loving wife.
The adoration between the two is beautiful, affectionate, and caring.
Spiritually speaking, this could be a picture of Jesus, the Bridegroom speaking to His Beloved, the Church (us)!
It’s as if Jesus is hanging on our every word.
When we take this to heart, how much more careful would we be with the words we use?
How much more sincere would you be with your prayers?
O’ to know that my words are pleasing to my Lord!
What a high thought that is.
What a responsibility we have to choose our words wisely.
I pray dear Lord that you give us the words in our everyday life to bless others and to share Christ. In Jesus name, amen.